I hate Journals
by DuckonMooseEh
Summary: Okay, Robin makes the team write journals for who-knows-why. Someone hacks into the computers and happens to get into both Beast Boy's and Raven's journals... A product of my boredom, it is.
1. Default Chapter

Okay, I have no clue how I'm gonna do this. Who knows, maybe I'll botch it immediately. If not, I plan on keeping this up for as long as I can. What are the odds of it working? Slim to none. But that's never stopped me before.

I own none of this… well maybe some, but not much… yeah…

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Computer Startup…… completed

Mainframe access……brainwave scan accepted. Access approved.

System Files…… Password Required

Password: Beast Boy

Password Accepted. 2 Files found

File 1: Raven-Journal

File 2: Beast Boy-Journal

Which file would you like to access? (1/2/All)

Files selected: All

Opening selected files.

File 1 creation: 5/23/05

File 2 creation: 5/23/05

Files loaded

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I know, bizarre way to start a fic. Do any of you remember the old MS-DOS program? The one where you'd enter the file name and it'd bring it up? That's more or less what this is. Cyborg (or someone else, I don't know who and it doesn't really matter) is hacking into the system to get the dirt on Beast Boy. Luckily for them, Raven happens to have the same file password, allowing her file to be accessed as well. Why? I don't know. I'll think of something.


	2. Day 001

So, this is actually the first "file" in the journals. Day one. Joy.

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5/23/05

Beast Boy

Wow, is this stupid or what? Robin's making us all write journals. What's the point? I HATE writing! It takes me forever to type up a word! And, you know, Raven's sitting there at the other computer pecking away at the keyboard. I wish I could type like that. She doesn't even have to look at the keys.

So uh… I don't know what the point is, but I guess there's a good one. And it can't be that bad. After all, we have passwords, so it's not like anyone can possibly get into this. Nobody'll guess my password. It's Beast Boy. I know, obvious, but most people will think that even I am not that stupid. I'm not, I chose this because I knew they'd think that and would never guess it. HA!

Well, I guess I should say what's happened today… we got up for breakfast, same old nothing special. Cyborg had to be an idiot, though, so we got stuck eating real eggs. Nasty. I don't see how anyone can eat em. Anyways, after that, we trained for a bit. Raven, as usual, seemed to be going out of her way to hurt me when we did free-for-all combat practice. I swear, I'm gonna have the bruises for a week.

No sooner did Robin give us a break than the alarms went off. Some stupid kid thought he could rob a store. Ha, listen to me, calling him a stupid kid. He was older than me! He thought he could steal a playboy or something, and for some reason we got called out to fix it. I'm not sure why I'm thinking this, but I just realized we never really found the magazine, and he had no clue what happened to it…

When we got back, Robin decided to let us have the day off. You know what that means: VIDEO GAMES! Me and Cyborg played some Monster Mayhem 3, and I TOTALLY whooped him! He'll never admit it, though. Then we went out for pizza, and he actually agreed on the vegetarian. What's with that?

Not much else. Just some pain from those bruises Raven gave me, and a headache. I don't know why I have it, I just do. Oh well, time for bed…

5/23/05

Raven

For once Robin's doing something that will possibly improve Beast Boy's minimal mental capacity. I never thought I'd see him writing, but he's been over there for almost half an hour. True, that's only because he types so slow, but does it really matter? He's doing something that challenges that pathetic thing he calls a brain for the first time in who knows how long?

Well, I know everyone else is gonna go into some longwinded discussion on the suitability of their passwords. I could easily find out what they were, but what's the point? I already know Beast Boy's. He's about as creative as a sponge that's been dead for the last quarter-millenium.

I picked Beast Boy as my password because nobody would ever expect that. I don't like him, and everyone knows it. So why would I have his name as my password?

That's all I'm saying about that. It's a pointless waste of time to have a long discussion on something as trivial as the suitability of a password for a journal, not to mention the fact that it's childish and boring. So that's all for this particular conversation.

What's happened so far that is worthy of being immortalized in my journal? Well, I guess there is one important thing. I know I just said that I don't like Beast Boy, but the truth is he's not really that bad. He's annoying when we're all together, true, but when it's just the two of us he's okay. I just wish he'd quit with all of those lame jokes.

Today Robin had us practice (joy beyond joy). He mixed it up a little, though. At the end we had a free-for-all combat. Beast Boy got his sorry green butt whooped. I actually felt some pity for him… mostly because I was the one who was beating him up so bad. He got some good hits on me, though, and I'm not complaining.

The workout was, much as I hate to admit it, entertaining. Cyborg won because he got both Robin and myself from behind while we were concentrating on Starfire. Then he blasted her out of the air with his sonic cannon. He did, of course, turn the amplitude down, but it still seemed to hurt a bit. Poor Starfire. Wait… did I really just write that?

Anyways, after that we were called out for the most pointless mission we've ever done. Some horny little ass-wipe stole a playboy from a gas station, and we were called out to catch him. What the hell were the cops doing, staring at the walls? It's their job to catch the punks, not ours!

Not that it was a completely useless mission, though. I secured the playboy, but lost it on the way back. Being my normal self, I couldn't resist flipping through it. I'm an introvert, but I can't help but read anything I get my hands on. Unfortunately… you get the point. Although, I must admit, some of that stuff was, ah, entertaining? It ALMOST made me wish that I could feel emotions. Almost, but not quite. I'm not a pervert, after all. And, while this is a digression, I noticed that there was a joke section. What's with that?

So after that, we went back to the tower for a while. Beast Boy and Cyborg wasted yet another day of their lives playing the Game Station, and I read. Of course, I read, it's what I do. This time it was a fantasy kind of book, The Pawn of Prophecy. Over all, not a bad book. It's part of a series… I'm going to have to start looking for the others. The Belgariad, or something along those lines…

So, after several hours of nothing, we went out for dinner. Pizza, as usual. What is it with the boys always wanting pizza? One time I'm going to demand something nicer. I may not be the most cheerful, but that doesn't mean they can't at least try, right? Maybe I want to be treated to a nice meal once in a while… wait, did I really just say that?

Forgetting that last part, we went for pizza. I felt a bit sorry for Beast Boy, seeing how I had beat the crap out of him earlier and Cyborg had forced him to eat real eggs at breakfast, so I manipulated the poor robot's brain a bit and forced him to let Beast Boy have some meatless pizza. And people say I have a heart of stone…

So, aside from numerous meaningless conversations which I have neither the patience nor the will to relate, there was little else to today. I think I'll go appologize to Beast Boy tomorrow for the beating I gave him. He deserves it, after all. He did protect me from Adonus, and Rage… it's only fair that I appologize for bruising him. I actually owe him a lot more since he was there to help me with you-know-who. I can't even bring myself to name the bastard from that book. Stupid dragon, messing with my emotions. I should've killed him and sent him down to Hell. I can do that, you know. One of the main benefits of being a demoness. Maybe I'll do that in a couple hundred years…

So, I guess that's all I want to say right now. The others are all asleep, discounting Beast Boy, of course. Poor kid can't type fast at all. Maybe I'll teach him how sometime.

Bed will feel nice now. I don't show it, but I do like soft things, and my pillow is definitely one of them. Another is, disgusting though it may be, Silkie. That little bug's a very nice pillow. Soft as anything, and when he (or is it a she? I'll have to ask Starfire about that…) purrs or whatever, the vibrations from it are enough to make me fall asleep almost instantly. Cute little thing, too. Wait… did I really just write that? Eww… Cuteness and me don't go together at all… or did you already notice that?

So, as I was saying before I began to ramble, it is now time for bed. I'll write again tomorrow.

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So, that was the end of day one. Fun, no? And please, don't say that they're out of character. No matter what, they're going to be out of character, because they change a little in every episode… that and it's my little vision of them, so I should be able to make them how I want. If anyone wants to debate me on any of this, go ahead and send me a review with your AIM account or something, and I'll be more than happy to argue. Lol, fun, eh? I know that someone has done this before (I think it was Kat097), but they had it more planned out. Mine's going to be more like my own journal, as said by BB and Rae. And it will probably last longer. Anyways, I urge you to read Kat's story (or whoever wrote it, should I be wrong about the author), because it was one of the most entertaining I've read in a long time. I like that one as much as I like "The Sixth Horseman" by Taiba, and that's saying something. I consider Sixth Horseman to be a holy book. And I REALLY wish I was joking about that, but I'm not. That's gotta be one of my all-time favorite stories. I urge you to read that one, as well.

Anyways, I think I've rambled enough. I'm sorry about taking so long to write for my other stuff. I think I'm gonna wait until summer to write for them again, since I've got finals coming up and all that. Expect something by mid to late July, or mid August at the latest. I'm gonna be stuck in a car for up to 10 hours at a time for most of June, so I'll have plenty of time to write. If you get bored, please read my fictionpress stuff under the same screenname. Thanks, I appreciate it. Review, please. I'll upgrade this as soon as I can. I'm gonna write one chapter a day for as long as my attention span holds out (so this should end up being about 3 chapters long). Review if you have an idea for it, or for another story you think I should write. Thanks, all. Good luck with everything.

Kyle "Al the Scot" Monaco


	3. Day 002

Well, from here it starts to get a bit weird. HA!

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Beast Boy

5/24/05

Chaos and pain! I got up this morning aching all over. So I went up to the infirmary, and guess what? Raven didn't just bruise me, she broke some bones! Now I'm stuck in here, they won't let me leave! I swear, when I heal…

Wow. I guess I fell asleep for a while there. Its almost sunset. At least I'll still be able to see that from this stupid bed.

So, overall, a very boring day. Quiet. Raven came in a while ago, to apologize. I'm still gonna get her for this, though.

None of the others have been up yet, except Cyborg. He had to make sure I was still alive; and, of course, rub in that he could play Gamestation and I couldn't. Stupid metal dumbass.

Wait, someone's coming. I'll write more later.

Raven

5/24/05

Great. Just what I needed. Remember that free-for-all? I broke some of Beast Boy's bones during that. Now I feel guilty. It's not even my fault. Really, it wasn't.

I went to apologize earlier, but I'm not sure if he remembers. Cyborg has him pretty drugged up right now. Maybe I'll go later.

Robin still had us train, of course. And yes, we still did the free-for-all. I won it in about 10 seconds flat. It was pathetic.

The others hesitated to attack me. That gave me time to concentrate on what I wanted to do. A stretch of my mind, and I simultaneously hit every pressure point Robin and Starfire posess, as well as Cyborg's limb controls, with my powers. 2 knocked out, one in pieces. I love my powers sometimes.

Since then, I've been reading. Thinking, actually. I read a story. It says time is the greatest maze. There are uncountable paths, but only one beginning and one ending. I realize now that I can't change my fate, whatever it is. I can face Trigon expecting to die, and that can either keep me going against impossible odds or make me give up. Conversely, I could go in confident and get either strength or overconfidence from that. No matter what, though, my fate will come true. I just wish I knew what it was.

Also, it points out that the only word not permitted in a riddle is the answer. And I've realized the one word not allowed in me: love. Is that my answer? I don't know. Maybe I should go check on Beast Boy. Wait… why'd I just start thinking about him? Oh no, not that, pl

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Well, that's it. Sorry it isn't longer, and yes, I know it cuts off in the middle of a word. I meant to write it like that.


	4. Day 003

Well, here goes. You get to find out who the person visiting BB was, and there's a little plot twist. Hope you enjoy.

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Beast Boy

5/25/05

Freakiest night ever. Remember how I heard someone coming? It was Raven. She wasn't acting normally, though. She just walked in and stared out the window for a while. It was nice that she visited, but it was kinda disconcerting. Ha, I just used a big word, go Beast Boy! Then she sat in the chair by my bed and stared at me, but it felt like she was looking through me. Really, really crDamn, the link didn't work. All I can do now is hope someone reads this soon…

It's Raven. Beast Boy is typing, but his mind is asleep now. I have to tell people.

I think I've solved my riddle, but Trigon knows, too. He's got limited control over my body. It's in a comatose state now. I've been trying to communicate, but so far this is the best I've been able to do. I don't know how to get control back. If I don't within a week, I need whoever reads this to destroy me, or Trigon may get control. I can still tell what's going on outside. If I have to, I'll contact you again, if it's possible.eepy. Wait, she just fell out of the chair. Be back later.

Oh my god, she's in a coma. Raven's laying in the other bed. Just laying, not floating. That can't be a good sign. Starfire is flying to Tamaran to get some medicines. Cyborg's checking Raven's old books for a cure, and Robin's guarding the tower. I'm stuck here because of my stupid bones.

I've talked to her a bit, but I don't know if she can hear me. I'm scared for her. I wish I could help. But no, I'm stuck here. It's only my leg… and a rib… and my collarbone… I can still help! But no, Cyborg says my "abilities" might disrupt the healing process. Stupid metal freak. I'm gonna try talking to Raven for a bit. Maybe it'll help her somStupid Beast Boy. I appreciate what you're trying to do, and yes, I can hear you. But it's distracting, and I need to find a way to defeat Trigon. I'm in Nevermore, and my emotions are vanishing one by one. Probably Trigon's doing. I'll report back later.ehow. She looks peaceful.

Hold on, I just got an idNo.ea. I don't knPlease tell me you aren't thinking what I think you are.ow if it'll work. I'm gonna go back into Raven'Don't you dare!s mind, aDamn you to Hell, Beast Boy! I can do that, you know!nd hopefully help her from theIt won't work.re. ItDon't say it.'He's gonna say it's foolproof.s foolpro…of! I'll go get heDon't you DARE go in my room, you little green freak!r mirror nHATE!ow, write more latI hate you so much right now Beast Boy…er. I wonder if this computer can go through the mirror witThat's actually a very good question.h me. It's just a laptop, so it could worI'm going to hurt you if you come into Nevermore.k.

Raven

5/25/05

No update.

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Confused? Basically, Rae kept taking over BB's head and making him type stuff. He has no idea that it's happening, and keeps going from where he was when she gives him back control. If he actually went back over what he had written (and, of course, he doesn't… yet), he would've seen it. But, alas, he is stupid. HA! Anyways, tell me what you think. I'll try to update this fairly frequently. Sorry to anyone who wants me to update my other fics, but I've kinda got writer's block, and no cash for energy drinks. I'll work on them all summer though, so be ready for more then. Once again, sorry about that, and thanks to you who are reading this. Expect weekly/monthly updates for this, since it's more or less just me bored and rambling. So, review. Kudos.


	5. Day 004

So you know, this chapter may be kinda strange. Towards the end, it is like dialogue, but more of an instant message or chat thing. Keep in mind they are both typing. Hope you enjoy it.

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Beast Boy

5/26/05

Well, my plan didn't work. When I was going to RaeDon't call me that.'s room, Cy saw me. I'll have to try again later.

Anyways, not much happened today, aHa! Nothing's happened! There is absolute chaos in Nevermore! Almost all of my emotions have been taken. Trigon attacked. Somehow I was able to fight him off. I don't think he was fighting at his full level. He asked me what's going on with my emotions. He seemed extremely smug, but also slightly nervous and confused. Now I'm not so sure if it was him doing it. Since the battle, I've felt something else out there. It's stronger than any of my emotions. I think it's something to do with Beast Boy, but I'm hoping not. I'll write more soon.nd Raven's still in a coma. Whoa, have I really written this mucYes! Figure it out!h? Hold on… I haven't written most of this! I'll be back to right more, I'm gonna go check yesterdTHANK YOU!ay… Again, she did this! What's goinJust read, idiot!g on? Fine, I'm going!

Oh my god, Raven, how could I have been so stuBecause you're you, twit.pid? HEY!Well, it's true.! It is noIs so.t!

Allright, Raven, hold on. Can you wait until after I write a sentence before you make a comment? I'll write one, then I'll read back over it to see if you made me right anything. Okay? Fine, whatever you say. Or, actually, make it bold or something, so it sticks out. **Happy?** Yes, I am, thanks for asking. **I wasn't being serious, you stupid twit!** What's this now? Raven NOT being serious? SHOCKING! jumps and gasps in surprise **Not funny. And the actions are juevenile, quit or I'll hurt you.** How? You can't do anything so… HEY! What was that for? **You said I couldn't do anything, remember?** So you used your powers to hurl an IV line at me? **Yes, I… wait a second. I did that, why can't I do anything else?** I dunno. You're the one with the powers. **What just happened? I mean, I kinda threw it at you jokingly but… oh no… **What? **Beast Boy, I have to go, whatever that thing is, it's coming back!** Raven wait! Raven! Damn it, I've gotta get that mirror! I'll write back as soon as I can! HOLD ON RAVEN!

Alright, I have the mirror, but Cyborg's in here now. Raven hasn't made anymore contact. I hope she's okay. As soon as that stupid metal freak leaves, I'm going in. Hopefully it'll work, with her being in a coma and all. I swear, if that dumbass Trigon did anything to hurt her, I'll kill him!

I have no idea what that thing is, but I think she may have an idea. Jeez, I can't stand just sitting around doing nothing. Oh, crap, no! Cyborg says he's detected an anomally in my brainwaves and in my pulse. NO CRAP! Raven's sneaking into my head, and now I'm nervous as hell, of course my pulse and brainwaves would be different. Ha, I hope you hear that, Raven. I have brainwaves, so that means I have a brain! HA! And now Cyborg is going to stay here all night to make sure I'm okay. Just peachy. Well, he has to sleep sometime. His battery isn't compatible with the equipment in here, so he'll have to leave sometime.

**Okay, Beast Boy, I'm safe.** You are? That's great! **Um, thanks. Are you really happy that I'm safe?** Yeah, of course I am, Rae. Why wouldn't I be? **Please, Beast Boy. Please DON'T call me Rae.** Okay, sorry. **And I don't know why you wouldn't be. **We're friends, of course I'm gonna feel worried about you. **Oh, uh… yeah, we're just friends, that's why you were worried.** Are you feeling okay? **Yeah, why?** I don't think I've ever heard you use the word "uh". **Oh, it's nothing. Nothing at all.** Yeah, I'm sure. What is it, Raven? You phrased that oddly. **What do you mean? **"We're just friends"? **Well, we are, aren't we?** Yeah, I guess so, but that makes it sound like you were hoping for more. **blushes **HEY! I thought that was immature, or whatever? Wait, you aren't going to get me off topic with that! Wait… blushes? **Keep you mind on one thing, stupid.** Why are you blushing, Raven? **I can't tell you write now. **Why? **Because you have to come in here to meet "it".** It? **Yeah, that thing that was attacking earlier. Then I can tell you.** WHAT? Now you WANT me to go into Nevermore? **No, I want you to stay out there, where it's safe. But I know you won't, and you have to come in here anyways.** Oh, okay. I guess that kinda makes sense. But since when are you worried about my safety? **I always have, Beast Boy, I've just never said anything before. **Really? Aw, ain't that sweet? **You can be really irritating, you know that, right?** Of course I do. **Beast Boy, you need to get some sleep. Tomorrow I'll make Cyborg fall asleep for a while, so you can get in here. ** Okay, but what about my leg? **Don't worry about that, you're perfect just as you are. **What? **Perfect for what I have in mind, that is.** Pun intended there? **What? **"What I have in mind". I'm going to be going into your mind, get it? **… Not funny.** Well, what do you have in mind? **It's not what I want you to do, like I've said. Okay, to avoid any further inquiries, the way you are is how you have to be for what you have to do. The way I said it earlier was a… mistake. **Okay… **Now, go to sleep Beast Boy.** Goodnight, Raven. **… Goodnight.**

Raven

5/26/05

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Well, there you go. Beast Boy gets into Raven's mind tomorrow. Most of you should at least have a guess what "it" is. And if you don't, that's kind of odd. Well… I hope you enjoyed this, I guess. No, I hope you enjoy this. No guess. And I hope you read the next one, too.


	6. Day 005

Beast Boy

5/27/05

Raven, are you there? Okay, I guess not, since it's been about twenty seconds. I wonder how she's gonna put Cyborg to sleep. What is it? Man, it's times like these I wish I was a bit smarter. **I wish you were smarter a lot.** Raven! **Someone seems happy to see me.** Why wouldn't I be? **Didn't you ask that last night? **Wow, that could sound disturbing, Raven. **… Sick pervert.** Sorry, Raven, I didn't mean it like that. I swear. **Okay, I'll believe you this time. **Thanks, I knew you would! hugs **What'd I tell you about that? **It's immature. **Yes.** But I noticed you didn't make any comment about the action itself. **So? **So, I just hugged you… kinda. **Yes, Beast Boy, kinda. And even the daughter of a demon needs hugs sometimes.** Wha? **Oh, grow up.** No, really. I never thought I'd hear you say something like that. **You never heard it, Beast Boy. You typed it.** Well… yeah, you know what I mean. And you made me type it. **Point.** What? **Nothing. I'll tell you later. **So, when were you going to take Cyborg out of commision? **Wow, that was a big word, Beast Boy. Be careful to not hurt yourself.** Ha ha ha. Very funny. **Curtsies, with a broad grin because I know this'll irritate you a bit Yes it was. **… Grow up. **Wow, did you just tell me to grow up? That's a first! **Ha, yes it is! So, when were you going to have Cyborg pass out? **Turn around.** Why? Oh, smooth. I didn't even hear him hit the ground. **That was partly because I had control when it happened, but thanks anyways. Now get in here.** Allright. **And don't forget that laptop!**

Well, it's been a long day. I still haven't seen "it". Raven's been acting a bit differently from usual. She talked to me a lot today, and we walked around Nevermore. True, we were scouting for Trigon, but it was still fun walking with her. We don't really worry about stealth, since there's really no point for it. He knows exactly where we are. He didn't do anything to stop us, so this is the weirdest fight I've been in. Well, I think we're going to sleep now. I haven't seen any emotions. Raven says It will guard us. Hopefully It has decided it likes us and doesn't change it's mind, or we may be in trouble.

Raven

5/27/05

Surprisingly enough, Beast Boy was able to get this thing into Nevermore. I wonder what the effects of this'll be in the long run… hopefully nothing too catastrophic.

Well, I should probably go over what's happened. That thing that I sensed, the one that was kidnapping my emotions, was another emotion. It hasn't been kidnapping the others, it's been assimilating them. It's composed of all of the others, including Rage. I still haven't been able to fully grasp this new emotion. It's too hard.

This new emotion is love. It finally revealed itself yesterday when it came to attack me when I was talking to Beast Boy. It was never trying to attack, though. It was trying to break through my barriers to get to me.

I don't have any idea how I'm going to break the news to him. He'll probably flip out. And I don't blame him. I probably would if I was in the same situation as he. I'm kind of surprised that he hasn't figured it out yet.

Anyways, Love is out watching us right now. I feel really bad. I think she does, too. I mean, after all this trouble it's gone through to bring itself to full power, and then to reveal itself to me, we've both been forced to realize that the uh… 'target' of it's affections doesn't feel for me. He likes me as a friend, but not more. That figures, huh? I can't even say it.

I have to though. Love and I have spoken, and both of us understand what has to be done if I want to get out of this mess. I'm in love with Beast Boy, and somehow he's supposed to save me. I guess it makes some sort of perverted logic. The funny, immature one and the sarcastic, most mature one. The scary thing is, he's only infatuated, and I'm the one that's in love with him. I don't get how that works.

I've been thinking about the meeting of Love and Beast Boy. I mean, she looks exactly like me, except she doesn't have a cloak. All in all, I think I would've rather had her wear one. I've realized that a leotard probably isn't the best thing to wear all by itself. And what if Beast Boy gets obsessed with her? He'll be in love with my emotion! And Love is in love with him, and that makes me love him. Or is it I'm in love with him, which brings her into being and also directs her affections? Now I'm confused about all of this. And I'm jealous of my emotion. That's gotta be an all-new level of pathetic, there.

Well, that's all of it, I suppose. Beast Boy's asleep. Much as my old self would've hated to admit it, he's really cute laying there. We're in Happy's old field, so it's nice and comfortable. Wow, I've really gotten soft. Stupid wonderful Love. And I'm not sure which of those adjectives was the sarcastic one. Maybe both. I don't know.

Oh yeah, and the last thing. Love is all things dealing with love. Infatuation and lust are also parts of love, so I have to be VERY careful of her. Speaking of those two, I think I'm going to curl up next to Beast Boy tonight. I'm sure he wouldn't mind. I'll tell him I got cold if he wonders why I'm laying right next to him. Well, I suppose that's all for tonight. Write more tomorrow.

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Well, there it is. Love is loose. And to those of you (and I know there'll probably be some) who say I'm being predictable, I say that I just predicted your comment on my predictability. Now who's more predictable? And you'll probably say that that was just a once-in-a-lifetime foresight or something. OH, WHAT NOW? Okay, I'll leave you alone, lol. I'm gonna miss writing these like the chats. That was highly amusing for me to do, even if it wasn't for any of you. There's going to be a couple more of those, I think, but not for a while.

If anyone wants to criticize my portrayal of anything in this, and specifically I'm referring to my portrayal of Love here, please feel free to comment. I'll have a reply to you with the next update, and it won't be the generic "I'm right, you're wrong" thing or the "I'm the author, I say how it goes" thing. I will actually think out a defense against what you say, okay? I'm looking forward to at least one good debate, so please don't disappoint me!

As I've said countless times before, review, please. Review, or I shall recite the duck salesman conversation.


	7. Day 006

Beast Boy

5/28/05

Well, something went wrong. I woke up this morning, and Raven was laying next to me. And I mean next to me. As in, she was curled up against me. It was kinda cool, though, because she was, well, cool. I always thought she'd be warm, but she wasn't. Well, she was but… Oh, now I'm confused. Her body was warm and cool. Not like, a neutral temperature. Like I could feel both. Really weird… wait, why'm I talking about this?

Okay, forgetting about that, It was gone. Figures, huh? All Raven's told us is that we need to be very careful now. She's acting like a mix between the old Raven and the new one. She is a lot more quiet and reserved than she was yesterday, but she seems afraid to let me leave her sight. And she keeps walking real close to me, which is kinda… no, really… odd for her.

Anyways, we scouted for It, and for Trigon. No clue where either of them are. Raven says It is probably in Trigon's "care". She says he'll probably attack sometime soon, and that, without It, we may not be able to defeat him. Not a good thing.

Trigon came and spoke to me. I haven't told her, cause I know she'd flip out. While she was trying to contact the others, I kinda fell asleep, and there he was, talking to me. He said that It would be the downfall of both Raven and myself. He said It could possibly destroy the entire team. I don't wanna believe him, but how can I risk having the team get wiped out? As soon as I woke up, I looked for him, or It. All I found was a bit of hair. It was the same color as Raven's, but I know for sure that she isn't misisng any hair. So where'd it come from?

I have no clue what's going on, and I hate it. Hopefully I'll get some answers soon.

Raven

5/28/05

Hell. That's the way to describe today. I woke up and Beast Boy was feeling me up. I don't mean, like, he was holding me against him. I mean, he was freakin caressing my body. If it wasn't for the fact that I loved him, I'd kill him. Maybe I'll injure him for that anyways, I don't know. He'd deserve it.

I guess it was kinda my fault, though. After all, I was the one to lay down with him. I should have been more responsible. But I didn't think he'd actually do that! Both Love and myself thought that he didn't like me like that!

Love… that's why today's been so chaotic. She's vanished. I am willing to bet that Trigon has her. If he does, we're screwed. I can't believe it. Just when things begin to go right, that happens. Well, with any luck, she'll be able to get away. If he attacks us now, we're screwed.

Back to Beast Boy, then? Well, I don't know what to say, mostly because I'm new to this whole love concept. I love being me. I'm the only person in the world who could get away with saying that, ha! I guess, I kinda worked myself into a corner, then. I know what I'll do, though. This time I'll curl up with him while he's still awake to see what he does. But I'll warn him that I'll cut out his spleen if he does anything perverted. Until I get used to Love and her different facets, I think I should wait before I let things get out of hand. That'd be great, huh? We're here to defeat Trigon, and we're trying to be somewhat stealthy… then Beast Boy and I go and give into our uh… instincts. That would NOT be good. Entertaining and informative, perhaps, but not good.

Well, that said, goodnight. I've got a long day tomorrow.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Okay, folks, there you go. I would like to point out that this is NOT going to be a lemon, possibly to someone's disappointment. To that, I say go to google and look for erotic stories there, not here… although I know that there are SOME of them here, and I will not go into detail about how I know this. At least not beyond saying I stumbled into a slash BB/Robin one, and it made me want to hurt myself. I believe gays should be allowed to marry and all that, but that doesn't mean I wanna read about them having sex. Now I will let the matter drop, before it makes me want to hurt myself again.


	8. Day 007

Okay, just a quick warning. From now on, there'll probably be a little more cussing, and some sex-related jokes and content. Nothing too bad though. I mean, I'm not going to have a freaking lesbian orgy with Raven's emotions or anything, although that could be, uh… amusing. Now I'll let that drop. Pretend you didn't hear it…

So, back on topic. Overall, I guess it'll just be a little more mature. Not like, lecturing or anything, but it'll get closer to adult themes. Nothing graphic is planned, though, so if you're one of the people that wants a lemon, I appologize to you. Not gonna happen as of now. Very, very slim chance of it in the future, mainly because I don't really want this to be a sex story. On the other hand, I recognize the need for sex in a true love relationship, so I may hint at it, but I won't go into detail. That'll probably be what I do if I decide they're gonna get frisky. And once more, I let the subject drop. So, read on, and sorry if the jokes or any of the cussing insults you.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Beast Boy

5/29/05

Alright, Raven's snapped. While I was trying to get to sleep, she curled up and layed down with me again. She said something about maiming me if I "groped". Needless to say, it was hard for me to get to sleep with her pushing herself up against me…

Well, when I woke up, she was gone. I waited for her to get back, and that's when I realized that neither of us had eaten since I'd gotten there. And we weren't hungry. I'll have to ask her about that.

She had been gone for about 6 hours at least when she got back. Or something, I'm kinda confused from here on.

So, I was sitting there thinking about food, and I heard a sound behind me. I turned, and Raven's standing there, but her cloaks not on. She's holding another Raven, and this one is wearing the blue cloak. The one in the blue cloak was knocked out, and she was scratched up pretty badly. She's got a real ugly bruise on her left leg, too. Raven hasn't told me what happened yet, and I'm not going to waste her time. It looks like she's had a pretty rough day. Hopefully Trigon doesn't attack tonight. And hopefully Raven acts normally. Not that I really mind, it's just, uh, distracting… and I don't wanna be "distracted" when the time comes to fight Trigon. I get the feeling that that would be a very bad thing…

Raven

5/29/05

Well, I hope that Raven doesn't mind that I'm writing this. Since I'm Love, I think she'll forgive me. After all, I'm only doing what I think is right.

Okay, I've been in Trigon's captivity. He's a horny bastard, and I'm not refering to the fact that he's a demon here. He assumed I'd do something with him, since lust is a part of me. Of course, I'm part of his daughter, so there's no way I was going to do anything. Stupid horny incest-loving bastard.

Look at me go! I am forced to love Trigon, and thus Raven is as well; he is her father, after all. So I can't hate him, but I can get mad as hell at him, and I am now.

So, I was chained up, and he was making yet another pass at me. Then Raven ran in and started attacking him. He fled, but as she was freeing me thousands of those damned demon birds attacked her. She's not hurt badly, but she is unconscious. That's why I'm writing.

I carried her back, and BB was waiting for her. He thinks I'm her and she's an emotion, but he's too polite to ask what happened. He's laying down to sleep now.

Hmm… this is probably a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and with our lifespans that's really saying something. BB's here, with me, and he thinks I'm Raven, and she's unable to stop me from doing whatever I want… oh, this may be fun! Just joking, I'm not going to do anything too bad. I don't have other emotions pulling at me, though, so I can do a lot more than Raven can right now. She'll get used to them, though, and when she does I'm wanting her to have everything perfect. So I'll make him desire her, but I won't let him do anything. Aren't I cruel? Something gives me the feeling that poor Beast Boy is going to have a hard time getting to sleep!


	9. Day 008

Beast Boy

5/30/05

She's doing this on purpose, I swear she is! What happened to the Raven I knew? She'd NEVER have done any of this stuff! Not that I'm complaining, but she's driving me CRAZY!

Okay, so I'm laying there, trying to get some sleep, and she lays next to me again. Leans back into me. I've kinda (not really) gotten used to that. Then she says she can't get comfortable and starts wiggling against me, still pushing into me. That was, uh… interesting. I lay on my back that it's less interesting… and then she lays on top of me, kinda. So then I turn around so I'm facing away from her, and she wraps her arms around me and pulls herself into me again. No sleep at all. The only thing I remember thinkins is "not nice", "so soft", and "Must resist stupidity impulses. Must not be maimed."

The weirdest part is, despite two nights of next to no sleep, I'm not tired. I guess I've been sleeping out of habit.

I didn't move after she grabbed me, because I didn't want to wake her up. When she finally did, she just laughed a bit. We talked a little, then she said she'd tell me what happened later. EVIL! PURE UNSATURATED EVIL!

I walked off around noon to try and, uh, compose myself. Then Trigon spoke to me again. He seemed scared. Why, I don't know. But he was.

He said pretty much the same thing, that It would be Raven's and my downfall. He said It's already started on me.

I have no clue what it's all about. Raven's trying to revive the other, but so far there's been no real success.

Well, it's been a couple hours since I wrote that. The other Raven is awake. They've been talking for a while. It looks like a mild argument. I wonder what they're talking about.

Confusing. Raven says she's going to watch over us tonight. She thinks I should stay with the one who was injured. It's weird, cause she still hasn't gotten her cloak back. I don't know what emotion this new one is, but she wants to sleep close to me. Is it a relative (is that the right word?) of Timid? I dunno. What's with Raven and her emotions wanting to sleep with me?

Raven

5/30/05

Poor Beast Boy didn't get any sleep last night. He's so cute, it's almost painful. But that's why I love him. Course, I can't not love, it's who I am.

We talked a bit today, mostly about unimportant stuff. I think that me and Raven may have been wrong about how he feels about us, though. Some of the things he said seemed to hint that he thought a bit more about us than it seemed… Or about her, I should say.

Beast Boy went out walking, and when he came back he seemed a bit odd. I'll have to watch him and make sure nothings wrong.

I'm going to try and wake Raven up now, she seems to be a bit better.

It's Raven now. I can't believe what Love did last night. At least she didn't let things go any further.

When she woke me up, she told me that Beast Boy thinks she is me. She said we should probably keep it that way, because it will make him think better of me. But I don't want to lie to him, and even he will eventually realize the Raven he slept with that night didn't have cuts on her face when we go back to reality. For tonight, though, we're going to pretend I'm one of the emotions. I'll tell him in the morning. I'm not going to tell him who Love is, though. He has to find that out himself.

There's not much left to tell. My attempt to save Love was obviously successful, if it didn't work out quite as planned. All in all, it could've been worse.


	10. Day 009

Beast Boy

5/31/05

More normal night. This emotion didn't wiggle around at all, so I was able to sleep. She wants to tell me something now.

That makes sense, I guess. This "emotion" is the real Raven. The one I slept with the other night was one of her emotions. She won't tell me who it is, though. She says I have to find out on my own.

The cuts and bruises she has are healing faster than normal. It looks like she's going to have some scars on her face, but they actually don't look all that bad. They make her look a bit creepier, but in a good way. It'll definitely increase her image as the Titan that shouldn't be made mad.

Her and the emotion, who I'm assuming is the It Raven was talking about, are talking. I don't know what they're talking about, but they seem to be planning something.

Hold on, what if It is also the It that Trigon is talking about? That would explain what he meant when he said It was already starting on me, or whatever. Could It be doing whatever it's going to do to make us lose? Maybe I should talk to Raven about this.

Okay, they just told me what they were talking about. They're planning to attack Trigon tomorrow. I'm not supposed to know the plan, because I can't shield my mind from him, or something. I guess it makes sense. I also got the feeling that they don't really know what my part in the battle is going to be. There's too much mystery about all this for me… kinda making me nervous.

I got a chance to talk to Raven about what Trigon said. She just said that he is trying to confuse me. The It they were talking about was the same It, though, she says. I asked her if we should be careful of It, but she just laughed. Something about us needing to be more careful of It than anything else, even Trigon. Not really a good thing, but then she said It would make us fall, but it wouldn't be in the way Trigon implied. I have no clue what that means, but I guess I'll have to find out. If I knew what It was, it'd probably be easier for me to know what this all meant. So I guess I better get to thinking. Or sleeping, since it seems like tomorrow is going to be a long day…

Raven

5/31/05

I told Beast Boy that I'm the real Raven. He seemed to accept it well, but wasn't all that happy when I refused to tell him who Love is. He has to figure that out on his own.

Love and I spent all day planning how we were going to defeat Trigon. We still aren't completely sure, since it all really boils down to Beast Boy at this point. We can't even tell him the little amount we've planned, because Trigon could just pluck it out of his mind.

After that, he told me about some times he's heard Trigon since we've been in here. It seems that my father has been saying bad stuff about Love. The good news is, Beast Boy says that Trigon has seemed scared when he talks about Love. That's our main advantage, at this point.

Beast Boy figured out that Love and the thing that Trigon was talking about were the same thing. He thinks we should be careful of her, but we don't have to be. He says the main point of all of Trigon's messages has been that she will cause us to "fall". I still don't know what that means, exactly, but I do know that if we do, it will be a good thing for us.

As things stand now, we're all pretty much preparing for tomorrow. I hope Beast Boy is able to do whatever his part in this is. If not, we're all dead.


	11. Day 010

Beast Boy

6/1/05

I think we're in trouble. Our plan didn't work. I had to run. I have no idea where Raven is, and It was captured again.

We set out early this morning. Raven was shielding us so that Trigon couldn't find us. Raven and It went to either side of him, trying to divide his attention. I hung back to help if things started to go wrong.

They did pretty well at first. Then Trigon got a cheep shot in and It went flying. I ran in as a rhino and hit him, but it didn't do much. Those birds started attacking me, and Raven started fighting Trigon. After a couple minutes, the birds vanished and Trigon came after me. I have no clue where Raven was. I'm hoping she's okay.

Anyways, he blasted me. Right when he went in to kill me, a shield came up. It had saved me. She smiled, then started fighting Trigon again. I helped, but wasn't able to do much.

Trigon started taunting us about Raven being gone. I lost control and turned into the beast. This time I saw what was going on though, almost like it was all a dream.

I charged at him and started scratching at him, ripping chunks of him away. For some reason I was suddenly able to hurt him. And I think I was hurting him pretty badly, too. He pushed me away, but I just jumped back up and hit him again. It wasn't fighting anymore. She was watching, looking kind of dazed by what she was seeing. Then she started blushing and blasted Trigon with a huge blast of energy, knocking him back.

Now he was pissed. When he got up, he shot a pillar of flames at me. Right before they hit me, It teleported me away. By the time I got back, both of them were gone.

Now I think I know what to do. I still don't know why, but I am able to hurt Trigon when I am the beast. Too bad I can't control it

I'm going back after It. I'm going to save Raven. And I'm going to kick Trigon's ass.

I know what he was trying to do with those messages. He was trying to keep me from trusting It. I think I know what It is now. And I know why I had to come here, if I'm right.

I'm going to stop Trigon, but I think I'm going to die in the process. It's just one of those feelings. I suddenly understand a lot of what is happening. I just can't put it into words. All I have to do is save Raven, no matter what it costs.

Nothing else matters.

Raven

6/1/05

No entry


	12. Day 011

Beast Boy

6/2/05

Today was a long day. I did a lot though.

As soon as I thought it was safe, I went looking for It. I looked for a couple hours, everywhere I could think of. Then, while I was trying to find my way through the maze, I heard crying. Since I hadn't seen any of the emotions other than It, I was pretty sure that it was either Raven or It. I followed the sound, and eventually it led me to her.

She was chained to the exit of the maze. Go figure, huh? That statue was guarding her, but for some reason it didn't attack me or anything. I don't think she even realized that I was there. She just kept staring straight ahead, crying.

I walked up behind her and got her attention. I'm not going to go into detail about our conversation. It's not really that important at the moment. Well, I guess it is, but I don't think I should waste the time typing it. I'm trying to think of a plan to save Raven… The main thing that happened, though, was that I figured out who It really was. My guess was right. It was love.

After we escaped, she said she thought she knew how to get Trigon back. We were going to have to do something that would make Love strong enough to make a connection with Raven, one that would bring her back here. And, unfortunately, I think I know what that means.

Everybody says I'm the weak one, or the funny one. They don't think I can do anything important or serious. Well, tomorrow I have to die. I don't regret it, because I know if I do, it'll save Raven. No, I do regret that I have to die, but only because that means I can't be with her… Figures, huh? Just when she begins to love, I have to die. I hate it when stuff like this happens.

Surprisingly, I'm not that afraid. I can't just let Trigon get me. I'm going to have to do my best to make Love think we're going to win, then have something happen. If I do, then the shock might be enough for her to bring Raven back. Maybe if I'm lucky, Raven'll be able to get back in time to help, but I'm not counting on it.

Raven

6/2/05

Love again. Beast Boy came and saved me. I don't know how he found me, or how he got to me, but he did. I didn't even feel him out there. I thought he was dead. I'd almost given up hope when he came. I can't imagine what Raven must be feeling.

What happened was I was sitting alone by Timid's maze, crying to myself because I thought he was dead, when I heard a whisper from behind me. He said "Are you okay?" I turned and he was standing there, perfectly fine, looking at me with a slightly happy and nervous expression on his face. I nodded, and he said, "Allright, then we have to go. We've gotta get out of here so that we can save Raven, Love."

So he knows. I don't know how he found out, but he did. After that, we ran. I think I know a way to bring Raven back from wherever Trigon imprisoned her. Something is going to happen that will make me strong enough to make a connection with her. If I do that, then she can use it like a life-line to pull herself back. I hope it works. I don't know what we'll have to do to make me that strong, but I think Beast Boy has an idea. I hope everything is okay.


	13. Day 012

Beast Boy

6/3/05

No Entry

Raven

6/3/05

It's Raven. I'm back, and I wish I wasn't. I don't know much of what happened before I got back to this realm, but whatever it was, I hate it! Love's broken down. She's huddled up on the ground, crying, same as she has for the past few hours. I've been crying, too. Since I'm still slightly blocking her, though, I'm not quite so bad.

As I've said, I have no clue what happened before I got back. I don't even know how I got back. I was sitting there, in a place that looked disturbingly like Hell, when I felt something tugging at my mind. Not altogether comfortable. I was ripped back, causing a decent amount of pain, but what I saw next was enough to make me forget it.

The first thing I saw was Love crying. Then Trigon laughing, his back to me.

Then I saw Beast Boy in front of him, his body crushed. There was no blood, but it was obvious that nearly all his bones had been shattered and more than one had nearly punctured his green skin in the process. There was no doubt that he was dead.

Trigon felt me, then, and ran. We've just stayed here. Love hasn't moved since I got here. I don't want to. It's not fair! He looks like he was in so much pain when it happened. I need to stop, or I'm going to go completely. I think Love may have calmed down a bit. I'm going to ask her to tell me what happened in the battle, and to try and write it for me.

I just told Raven what happened. It's Love now. This is the worst thing that could have possibly happened. Beast Boy is dead, and it's my fault!

We were battling Trigon, doing a reasonably good job when I got distracted by Beast Boy. I hate to say it, but I did. Trigon had something to do with it, he took control of my mind. I felt his weighing down upon mine. And in that moment, he hit Beast Boy with everything he had.

Beast Boy fell. I heard snapping sounds, screams of pain, and I felt like I was being ripped apart. I reached out to anything, I needed to escape or I'd go insane, and I found Raven. She came back, and I broke down completely. That's all I remember, other than pain. I wish I had died instead of him. I don't think it was possible now. And I think he knew this was going to happen, but that doesn't make it any easier for me and Raven. I'm going to try and sleep now. Maybe if I can, I'll block out the pain for a while.

Back. Love's sleeping, though not altogether peacefully. I keep hearing her whimpering, and she is mumbling. I can't quite hear what she's saying. I don't think it's important. Probably blaming herself, like she did when she told me what happened. But it wasn't her fault. It was my fathers. I hate him so much! I've been told that it's impossible to truly hate your family, but I know that everyone who said that is wrong. I wish Trigon was an immortal. Death is too good for him. I want to keep him alive for eternity, in pain, so that he can possibly know what I'm going through. But since I can't, he will die.


	14. Day 013

Beast Boy

6/4/05

I have no idea what's going on. If it wasn't for those other entries I've made, I'd think the rest of that was a dream. Nobody's been able to tell me what happened.

I remember fighting Trigon. Then he attacked me, and I felt enormous pain, then nothing. I think I died… but then how am I here? I woke up about half an hour ago and was back in the infirmary at the tower. Cyborg said I went into a slight coma, but other than that was fine. He said Raven flat-lined about when I came back, then her heart started back up. She's floating above the bed now, healing. That's a good sign.

I wish I knew what happened. I wonder if she and Love were able to defeat Trigon. I'd say probably, since she's alive now. That still doesn't tell me how I'm alive though… **Would you rather be dead?** No, I wouldn't, but… wait, Raven? **It took you that long to realize you were responding to me? **What happened? How am I still alive? **I don't know that. But I did defeat Trigon.** How? **… I'll tell you later. I kinda need to talk to you about that face to face.** Uh, okay. Do you know when that might be? **I don't know for sure. I'm able to heal myself now, but it may be up to a week before I actually wake up.** Oh… well, I hope it's sooner. I hope you get better soon hugs **… You're such an immature little freak…** But you love me anyways, ha! **Yeah… unfortunately for both of us, I do. **What's that supposed to mean? **Actually, believe it or not, that's not an insult. **How could it NOT be an insult? **Simple: now I need to learn how to love. That's not all that easy for a person who blocked every emotion she's ever felt.** I guess you have a point, there. **Next, that's going to complicate things in battles and stuff.** Yeah… and don't expect me to go easy on you in Robin's training exercises! **Oh please, like I actually need you to. **Ouch. That one hurt! **And finally, if Slade found out about this, he'd use it to his advantage.** Didn't think of that. Wait… this is just clicking in. So you really do love me? **… Yes. I really do. I'm not able to show it as well because of circumstances and my natural behavior, but I am. Give me some time to get used to it, and I'm willing to bet I could give you a run for your money. **… I'm wondering how you meant that. Maybe I don't wanna know. **That's right. Now, I'm going to leave you alone so I can continue healing. Talk to you soon, okay? **Okay. Uh, Raven? **Yeah?** I love you, too. You know that, right? **I hoped… thank you for telling me. **Yeah… bye then.

I swear, if Cyborg knew about that last part, he'd give me hell for it. And no pun intended about hell and Raven. I hadn't thought about that, though. We may have to keep this a complete secret, from everyone. That includes even the other Titans. I hope it doesn't come to that. I don't want to only be able to be with her at night or something. I wish we were just normal teens. That'd be so much more easier… I think.

Well, Cyborg says he figures my bones aren't going to be affected by my powers. He's letting me go play Gamestation. I told him I'd rather be here, in case something goes wrong with Raven… so he's bringing the TV and Gamestation up here. I guess he got bored with single-player over the past few days, lol.

Raven

6/4/05

No entry


	15. Author Note 1

Okay, I'm using this as a checkpoint. I've gotten behind, unfortunately. I'll start writing a lot more, though, so I should catch up. If not, I apologize. For the record, the intro takes place in the future, after the journal has been completed. I've decided that it is Robin. As team leader, he took the initiative to check all files for information that may help him defeat evil. That's his story. I think the truth is, he got bored and started entering random passwords, the same way I do… And why am I talking about this, when it isn't really important to the story? Even more, why am I talking about this like its real? maybe I should go into therapy… Well, I would, but Raven, Beast Boy, and Cyborg are here. We're meeting the others at the Green Valley Cinema to see Star Wars! So, if someone'd like to schedule that therapy session, make sure it's after the movie! OR I WILL TRACK YOU DOWN AND BEAT YOU WITH A LARGE AND RATHER DISEASED-LOOKING SALMON!

Now, on to the Author's note/plot twist/checkpoint/herring thingy. It takes place late, after all the Titans (supposedly) are asleep. And it is the night of June 4. So, here we go.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Cyborg snuck quietly down the hall into the Titan's living room, leaving the lights out as he walked across to the computer terminal. Turning it on, he waited for it to reboot, then entered the password Beast Boy had muttered in his sleep: Beast Boy. With a cackle of maniacal "I'm gonna get you so bad" glee, he began to read the files.

He was almost to the end of what had been written so far when he heard a chuckle behind him. Jumping up, he spun around to see Slade standing in the door.

"Good evening, Cyborg," Slade said calmly, his mask glinting eerily in the moonlight from the broad windows as he stepped into the room, "How're my favorite enemies faring?"

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Wow, that's kinda weird. The authors not is longer than the actual chapter. Well, Cyborg knows what's happened. He's going to check in every night from now on to see what's being said, so I won't write something like this for every night. I'm debating whether or not I should have Cyborg's diary in it to, now. Tell me what you think. I'll go about 5 days, and see what any readers might have said. If you like the idea, tell me, if not, tell me. Now, I'm going to sleep, since I'm completely exhausted. It's only 3 in the afternoon, but I've gotten very little sleep (other than 12 hours last night) since last Friday. Before the 12 hours, I'd gotten about 3 or 4 hours for that whole time. That ain't healthy… So, I'm gonna leave me alone, tell me if you like that idea, and I'm going to have them writing about the battle that will obviously take place in the next chapter.


	16. Day 014

Beast Boy

6/5/05

Well, I can't say that today has been a simple day. At least Raven's getting better. She still hasn't woken up or anything, and I haven't even communicated with her yet, but that's not really surprising.

Slade attacked last night. He didn't bring any robots or anything, just himself. He didn't even seem all that serious about the attack. It was more like he was just trying to snoop around.

Okay, so it started late last night. I was asleep, having a nice dream, and an explosion wakes me up. The infirmary seals itself, going into quarantine mode, and I'm stuck in here. Luckily I was able to access the security system from where I was. Cyborg told me how to deactivate it in an emergency, so I got out and limped down the hall into the living room. There was a big battle going on between Robin, Starfire, Cyborg, and Slade. I wasn't able to help terribly much. It's weird, my leg is injured here, but I was fine in Raven's mind. I wonder how that worked.

Anyways, they fought for a bit, and I pitched in where I could. After a couple minutes, he left, though. Like I said, I don't think he was even trying to defeat us. It was more like he was bored and had a little excess energy.

After that, Robin of course made us all stay awake. We did training all day. I wasn't able to do much, so he had me do some strategic fighting stuff. It was all videogames, so that was okay, but still… strategy? What's up with that? He's the leader, he should be studying that! **Grow up.** How'd I know you were going to say something? **Because its painfully obvious? **Actually, I'm surprised it took you that long to say something. **What can I say? I have good self control. **Uh… are you okay, Raven? You don't seem all that happy… **I'm fine, just exhausted. Healing myself isn't exactly easy, you know. **Oh, okay. **And I've found out something else.** What? **Its one of those things that I have to tell you face to face.** Okay… Well, do you have a better guess of when you're going to be okay? **Nope. A few days, like I said.** Dang. **By the way, watch Cyborg. I noticed that he seemed a bit weird earlier today. **How would you know he was acting weird? **Because I'm still aware of what's going on around me. **Oh… that could help. **Just a bit. **So, what did he do? **He just seemed to be acting a little differently today. Some of the time he seemed smug, some of the time nervous. Some of the time normal. **Okay… Well, I'll keep an eye out for that. **Do. **Do you have any idea at all what it might be about? **Nope. Just listen to some of the stuff he says next time you talk. I'll do the same. Maybe he'll let something slip. **Okay. That's why you're the smart one. **Well, I should probably leave. **Okay. **… Aren't you forgetting something? **What? **Well, I guess you don't have to. By the way, Love says hello… ** Is that it? You actually want me to say it? **Did I say anything about that? **Well, it seems like it. I love you. Happy now? lol. **Okay, first, I was referring to you doing the stupid little action signs. Second, thank you. Third, is it that hard for you to say it? Honestly, it's kind of hard for me to hear it, I'm still having trouble getting used to all this. And I'll tell you why when we talk. It has to do with Trigon. **Oh… now I feel stupid. blushes **There, I was starting to worry about you. And I was joking. Say it all you want. For the time being, don't expect a real terrific response. Like I said, not used to this. **I understand. Goodnight, Raven. And I'm having some trouble with it, too. **Goodnight.**

Wow… can't say that wasn't awkward. I wonder what she meant about that thing with Cyborg. I will have to keep an eye on him. Oh crap… what if he's hacked into my diary or something? I don't think he did… but if he did, that's possibly bad for both me and Raven… I'm gonna have to be extra cautious. Time for bed… He gave me some meds because of that "coma", and they make me a little tired…

Raven

6/5/05

No Entry


	17. Day 015

Beast Boy

6/6/05

Today was much easier than yesterday. Robin still had me play those games. They're pretty good. I don't know how they're going to apply to us, since they're mostly military stuff, and we don't use guns. Oh well. It doesn't really matter.

Cyborg came in today to check in on me, and we played some more games. He says I'm free to leave whenever I want, as long as something weird doesn't happen, but I'd still rather stay in here.

He is acting weird. He made a strange comment about talking to Raven. Quite obviously I can't except through this. So does he know, or is he just messing with my mind? **That's what I'm wondering.** Hey Raven, did you notice anything else? **No, that's about all he's let slip. But it makes me think that he's read your diary. **Joy. **Yeah, I know. **What do you think about that? **Well, he's our friend, and I'm pretty sure he's almost a brother to both of us. I know he is to me. **Yeah. **So I think it's not that big of a deal that he knows. **Really? **What's the worst he can do? We'll tell him to not tell anyone else, and if I have to, I'll threaten him. **I'm pretty sure he'll listen if we tell him why we don't want people to know. **So do I.** So, you don't mind that he knows? **No. **He's gonna give us hell for that. **No pun intended. **Uh… yeah. Oops. **It's okay. I've gotten used to people saying stuff like that. **blushes **There we go. **Shut up, lol. **I'll shut up if I want to. But I agree, he will probably try and taunt us with this.** That's gonna be fun. **What do you mean? **This gives us some major opportunities to mess with his mind. **Don't you ever grow up? **Oh come one, Raven, tell me it wouldn't be fun to tweak him a bit. **You're right, it would. **We'll have to think of something. **Yes. But first, I have to heal. **Okay, are you gonna go, then? **Yeah. G'bye. **Bye, Raven.

Okay, I'll have to think of something. Well, I hope Raven gets better soon, I really want to talk to her. I really want to know what she isn't able to tell me right now. I hope its not bad. That'd kinda suck.

Robin just visited. That's kinda weird. He says Bruce is coming to visit. That should be fun. Too bad Raven's going to be knocked out. I don't think she's met him yet.

Well, I don't know what else to write for today. My leg is tingling. It's actually pretty funny. I'm gonna watch TV for a while now. I think those meds are gonna knock me out soon. If not, I may write more.

Raven

6/6/05

No Entry


	18. Day 016

Beast Boy

6/7/05

SHE'S AWAKE!

Well… kinda. I mean, she woke up for about 30 minutes, but wasn't really there, if you know what I mean. After that, she went back to sleep. But still, Raven woke up!

That was the highlight of my day, I guess. I did think of something to mess with Cyborg. Wait… if he's reading this, he'll figure out what my plan is… okay, not cool!

Me and Raven are still gonna get him if he is, though. He can count on that.

So it's been a very slow day. I talked to Raven while she was awake, but she was too weird to actually have a conversation. She seemed happy, though, so I guess that's good.

Robin thinks he knows why Slade attacked. He thinks that Slade heard rumors of Raven's illness, and he was checking to see if they were true. Basically it was just a scouting mission, I guess. But then why didn't he just send some robots to find out?

Starfire's been here since Raven woke up. That was a few hours back. The constant babbling is even getting on MY nerves… Well, if anyone can put up with annoying stuff, it's me.

Raven looks completely healed, except for the scars she got from Trigon. They're fairly hard to see, though. I hope she wakes up again soon. I wanna hear all that important stuff she had to tell me. I wonder if we should tell the rest of the team about what happened. Probably… I mean, they are pretty much family to us now. I don't see why we couldn't as long as we didn't let the news leak out…

I'm gonna get to sleep now, but I'm right next to all the computers. If Raven wakes up, they're programmed to beep, and that'll wake me up.

Raven

6/7/05

Wow. It's been awhile since I've written in here. I was able to wake myself up for a tiny ammount of time, but I don't know how long I'll be able to keep this up. I feel so weak.

I beat Trigon for now. I don't think he'll be coming back any time soon, either. After I saw Beast Boy's body, I just lost it. I went after him, and we fought for a long time. I don't know exactly how long, and it doesn't really matter. But in the end, he said he knew how I could save Beast Boy.

I had to sacrifice myself, and then my soul would essentially "feed" his. I didn't trust Trigon, of course, but Love said it was true. If I was willing to give the ultimate sacrifice, I'd be able to bring Beast Boy back.

I don't know why Trigon would've told me this. I guess it was because he thought I'd be too afraid or self-centered to do it. Or maybe he thought that I'd end up dead, and he'd be able to take over my body. Whatever he thought, I went insane on him, completely intent on dying. I actually had him beaten, and could've killed him normally, but instead I threw everything I posessed at him. My emotions flew out of me, ripping me to shreds in the process (or so Love has said). It also badly injured Trigon. Love said he was still alive, and somehow fled.

And, consequently, I am led to believe that there may, in fact, be a god. I don't see how I could've survived if something wasn't protecting me.

I'm starting to get drowsy now. The rest of it, I'll tell him when I'm actually awake… He can't understand what I'm saying now. I guess my coma messed with my mind a bit.


	19. Day 017

Hello, all. I know I haven't been writing author notes, but I need to for this. Expect Raven to be slightly… odd. Also, you can guess what I do and what I do not own. Use your head, please. And uh… I can't think of anything else, but I wanted to say something else…

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Beast Boy

6/8/05

Raven hasn't woken up again yet. I hope she does soon. She looks really peaceful laying there (except for the scars). I wish I knew what she was thinking. I probably wouldn't be able to understand it, cause she's a lot smarter than me, but I would still like to know what kind of things she thinks about.

Cyborg said that he's going to give her some medications that should wake her up soon. Apparently Robin needs to talk to her about the Slade incident in case it actually did have something to do with her.

Starfire left around midnight. I wish she was back here, it's kinda lonely now. And Robin took those games away. Cyborg's busy playing GameStation downstairs, I think, so I'm stuck here with a sleeping Raven… Wait, why am I complaining? This is actually very enjoyable, seeing her sleeping there. And I'm doing a good job resisting the stupidity impulses, too. Which is good, because I get the feeling that she'd have a random spasm and rip out my liver if I tried anything stupid. And so I am being very, very careful. Dying now would be bad. And painful if it was because of the stupidity impulses.

It's kinda warm in here. I think I'm gonna take a nap for a while…

Raven woke up. She was able to speak better now. She said she wasn't going to be able to stay awake long, so she was going to tell me the important stuff later. Of course she can't stay awake now. Oh well.

Yeah, she was definitely cheerful now, though. But she seemed a little nervous, too. I don't know why. Maybe it has to do with the stuff she needs to tell me… and I'm just now realizing how stupid that last comment was. Of course it's related to that…

Raven

6/8/05

Weirdest.

Night.

Ever.

I'm really glad that nobody could read my thoughts. Because after the dream I had earlier, they'd send me to an assylum.

Okay, so the dream started out fine. I was flying around, patrolling for evil. Except I was randomely in Las Vegas, of all places. So I'm flying and that damn alien dog flies out of nowhere and bites me. Then it laughs and says it has rabies, and runs away. For some reason, I go down to a window and look in. There's a teenaged boy sitting there with a battle axe and sword tucked under the covers of his bed. He is sleeping beneath the mattress, since it was about 2 am. There was randomly a shrine to Jimmy Buffett, Fatburger, and me there… kinda creepy, really…

So anyways, I tap on his window and he looks out like "what the hell?". I open the window and grab him, and next thing I know we're in Neverland. We were up in the clouds. He asked why, and I pointed down to the pirate ship. Captain Hook was down there, and he started to laugh and then shot the cannons at us. Instead of cannonballs, he shot candy, though. And in midair, it turned into chickens with all different types of weapons. Luckily the teen had brought his axe, and we started fighting them for a while. Hook was down there laughing the whole time. I glance down at him, and I see his face slide off and a corset goes flying. Next thing I see is a fat guy with 5 o'clock shadow and an expression like someone just told him he was pregnant on his face. Highly amusing, actually.

He ran away, and when me and the kid try to follow we somehow end up in what looks like a high-school cafeteria. We heard something in the kitchen, so we went in there, and there was another kid and some crazy old woman doing shadow puppets on the wall… I'm sitting there, wondering what the hell is going on, and I hear a crash from above, and a Chinese and a Canadian teen falls through the roof. The Canadian says something like "The raid failed" and the first one says "curses". Next thing I know, a character from one of BB's computer games falls through the ceiling and kills the Asian and the shadow-puppet kid. The old woman hides in the oven (no idea why), and then the character runs. The first teen and the Canadian run out a door, and we're randomely on top of the Globe Theater. Tell me that isn't weird. It doesn't even exist anymore! And, to make it even stranger, we're surrounded by desert, as far as we can see. It wasn't hot or dry, but there was just no plant or animal life to be seen, just dirt.

So they're running through, and a marching band dressed in tuxedos runs up and starts yelling at them for killing the other two kids. Apparently nobody could hear or see me at this point. The kids run, and I follow them. After a second, they find a girl who was a part of the band. They convince her that they're innocent, and then they escape through a fire-escape slide that looks like it was designed by the makers of Sonic the Hedgehog… Or a cartoon animator…

They land in the middle of a huge battle between Penguins and Chickens, and the two dead teens are back alive somehow. One has explosives, the other a sniper rifle. So, they all fight (the Canadian seems to use tape…) and after a while only the humans and a half-dozen or so chickens are alive. They all run into the theater and baricade the door. I had an out-of-body experience and followed them to a dead end. There was a window, and they look out there, then got really pale (which I don't understand, since they were already white…) and I fly back to my body through the halls. It takes about 2 minutes, and the whole time pretty much all I see is TNT and various other explosives. So, I get back to my body and turn. The humans (plus some fat, crazy prospector) are dressed like goldminers (and, I am ashamed to admit, so was I). The one who likes explosives started doing a crazy-prospector cackle, then hits the plunger. I immediately have another out-of-body experience, flying back inside real fast. All the chickens had blindfolds on and were smoking cigars, like at an execution or something…

They're sitting there, and I just hear "You might be a redneck…" then the sound a computer makes when connecting to AOL, then "Welcome. You've got mail", then a beep, then a female say "Have a nice day", and the three people from Spaceballs all say "Thank you", and then my dream cuts to those clips of the nuclear bomb tests in New Mexico. You know, with the mushroom cloud and the building getting vaporized… Anyways, after that, it goes back to the people, and I see a large chunk of the building fly and land on an annoying Canadian squirrel who couldn't take the hint that everyone wanted him dead. His teeth break out, fly over and slice the toenail off my big right-toe, and then an ambulence drops from the sky. A drunken hobo walks out (disturbingly wearing no pants), and he says he's cured my rabies. Then he pulls out a dead chipmunk, talks into it like a cellphone, then pulls out a molotov cocktail and rambles about going 'back to da foochur (I think he meant future…)'. And that was the end of it… thankfully.

Well, other than that, I haven't had anything interesting happening… So I'll write more next time I wake up.

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Yeah, what'd you think of that? Lol. The weird thing is, almost all of those things in the dream are from dreams me or one of my friends have had. The Globe Theater and computer game character killing, along with Captain Hook, are mine. The rabies thing is another author (Evellynn Michelle Malfoy, read her stuff), the shadow-puppet part is Brendt (co-owner of DuckonMoose,Eh?), and the hobo is from VG Cats. The rest is all stuff we're having in the Comic. If you want to use any of it, please ask. And don't worry, the comic actually does have a plot, and it's a pretty good one, I think…

So, if you didn't like my rambling, I appologize. Wait, no I don't… I'm free to ramble all I want! I've been too serious, so I wanted to put some insanity into this. HA! And if you liked it, then I'm pretty sure you'll enjoy the Comic…


	20. Day 018

Beast Boy

6/9/05

Raven woke up today! She's been awake for a few hours, and Cyborg's cleared her to go back to her room!

We talked for a lot of the day. She's been telling me all of the things that happened. Apparently she had to sacrifice herself to save me, and somehow she survived. I guess that proves that she really does love me. YES!

So, we spent a lot of time talking, and she said something about me and her having a connection now. She said it is a somewhat-telepathic one, whatever that means. It only works over fairly short areas, though, unless we're feeling really emotional. I don't really understand all of it, but oh well. She says that it's the 4th most powerful connection we could possibly have, and I'm the only person to ever come close to getting it. I feel honored, and I'm serious about that! I asked her what the other ones were, and she blushed and said she'd tell me later. Thinking back on it, it's pretty obvious what one of those is, at least…

After that, she told me about the battle in detail. Then we watched some TV. The Lord of the Rings. She likes those movies, and I think it's because they're like epic stories. She likes to read, so that makes sense. Maybe I should go get her a book or something… I bet she'd like that…

Anyways, it's night now. All the titans, except for me, are asleep. It's kinda weird not being with Raven. I've gotten used to her being here over the past week or so.

Raven

6/9/05

Cyborg says I'm free to leave. I have mixed feelings about that. Obviously I want to get out of this damned infirmary, but that also means I won't be with Beast Boy, unless we sneak to each others rooms… and, as much as I love him, I don't much care for that pit he calls a room. I don't think he really does either, but oh well.

We talked for a lot of the day. I told him about the battle and the sacrifice, but I also told him about something more important.

Beast Boy and I have a connection now. It's much stronger than the one I have with Robin, because this one is created by love, and it was created through death. We can use it to communicate to each other telepathically over short distances, among some other things. It makes it so I can show more emotion to him safely than I can to the others. Or maybe it's just he can see them more easily… I don't really know. I haven't completely figured all of this out.

I talked to Love. She explained how all of this works. I don't know for sure everything I can do with this connection. Apparently there are only three connections that are stronger than this one. I asked Love what they were, and she gave an evil sort of cackle that made me extremely nervous. Then she blushed and told me what they were, along with why they were important…

The 3rd most important connection, she says, is marriage. It doesn't have to be an official thing. It just has to be some act that connects us forever. Both of us have to understand, accept, and, most importantly, want this connection for it to work.

The 2nd most important connection is… uh… sex. I apparently blushed or something when Love said that, because she started giggling and blushing too. She is such a freak sometimes… actually, she reminded me a lot of Starfire…

Anyways, this is important, she says, because it truly connects the two of us into one entity, physically and spiritually. She says it has to be a meaningful experience for this connection to be created. If we're drunk, for example, and go do…stuff… then it won't count.

After that, the most important connection is when we actually have a child together… Now tell me that's not awkward for my emotion to be telling me that!

She says that's important because, in a way, it perpetuates our love. It is a "product" of it, and that makes it important.

Anyways, Love says that, as we "move up" through these different levels, our bond gets stronger. We are able to communicate more easily and over much farther distances, and we can also do some other things. I have no idea what those other things are, and neither does she. Her comment was "as things are going, you'll probably find out soon anyways". Well, I guess we can hope… did I really just say that? I have changed!

Well, Beast Boy asked me what the other connections were. I blushed and said I'd tell him later. I talked to him for a little bit a second ago, using our new bond. It's night, and all the others are asleep. It wasn't much, just telling each other that, if we need anything, we're here for each other… It just struck me that we haven't really told each other that we love each other… at least not much. I guess we aren't really comfortable with so blatently saying it. Or maybe we feel like we don't actually need to say it… I don't know…


	21. Day 019

Beast Boy

6/10/05

I had a very nice night… a late-night telepathic conversation with Raven was the last thing I did. That definitely qualifies it as a good night… except I still wasn't with her, which kinda sucked…

This morning she woke me up. Kinda unexpected. I was delerious in la-la-land, and all of a sudden Raven is on top of me and starts jumping on my bed! Then she ran out, laughing. Not normal!

The rest of the team was out on patrol. Me and Raven are going to take over for them in a while… they deserve a break. My leg is much better. Raven healed it a little. I still have to move slowly, and it's a little sore, but the cast is gone.

While we were waiting for them to get back, I made Raven some waffles. Real ones. I made her some tea, too. For myself, I had some tofu waffles. It was a reasonably nice breakfast. Too bad the rest of the team was gone.

Not much happened after that. Mostly we just sat around and watched TV… meaning I watched TV, and she read, sitting much closer to me than she normally did. Not quite touching me. Why am I spending this much time rambling about this? I have no idea… and did I just start a conversation with myself?

Okay, I'm gonna let that drop. The rest of the team got back around noon. They picked up pizza on the way. After that, me and Raven said we'd go out on patrol for the afternoon. They all looked relieved. None of them asked about my cast. I guess they realized Raven helped heal it.

So, after that, we mostly walked around town for the rest of the day. The team said it had been quiet, for a long time, except for Slade's "attack", and they said we should still take it easy. So we walked around town, instead of flying.

Around 5-ish, we stopped at a Chipotle. Raven somehow managed to change the beef in the burritos into tofu. I don't know how she did it, and I don't think I want to know… It was good, though. The burritos were about as big as footballs.

Not much happened afterwards. We talked a bit about different stuff, but neither of us mentioned the "connections" that we didn't have yet. When we got back to the tower, the rest of the team was watching a movie. We were tired though.

So now I'm typing this. Raven and I are talking through our bond… it's weird, I can't talk and type (I can't do much of anything and type), but I can communicate with Raven psychicly and type… how does that work?

Well, she said something kind of off-hand about how we haven't really told each other that we love each other… I mean, we have, but we haven't actually said "I love you" much… You know what? I think I'm going to now…

Raven

6/10/05

Beast Boy is SO gullible, lol… while we were on patrol, we stopped at a Chipotle restaurant, and had burritos… I "convinced" him the beef was tofu, and he had no trouble eating it… Either he's really gullible, he's very succesptible to my mind-altering powers, or he's just being polite… I don't much care which (although he definitely deserves something if it's the latter). Anyways, I'm getting ahead of myself…

I woke up this morning and decided I wanted to have some fun, so I went into Beast Boy's room and started jumping on his bed to wake him up, then I ran out… it was some of the best fun I've had in quite a while. On the other hand, that was probably stupid, seeing as his bones were broken… he didn't complain though.

So then I helped heal him… the cast is gone. We went out on patrol. Not much happened out there. Truthfully, it was a pretty dull day… I'm gonna tell BB (yes, I did just call him that) goodnight, then off to bed for me…

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Well y'all know it ain't gonna end that easy, don't ya?


	22. Authornote 2

So, I've got to say some stuff now… yes, this is gonna be an actual chapter, but it's also an author-note.

First off, I sincerely appologize for making you all wait for me to post stuff… in the first day I was back, my stories had over 300 hits (which is saying something, since they'd only had about 100 up to then). This one, which I didn't even update, got about 100 hits… Anyways, I just wanted to appologize, and thank you for checking in from time to time.

So, without making you wait any longer, I'll continue with the chapter…

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_What am I DOING?_ Beast Boy thought to himself, panic and excitement flooding through his body. He walked like a drunken man down the hall, terror making his movements halting and causing him to sway. Finally he reached his target.

"Raven, are you in there?" he whispered. For a long time, there was only silence in the dark hall, and then…

"Beast Boy?"

"Yeah… sorry, I'll go if you want…"

The door slid open a little to show part of Raven's face; she looked out at him through the crack, blushing slightly, looking every bit as frightened as he felt. She was standing so just a part of her face was showing, leaning out from behind the door.

"No, it's okay… what did you want?"

"Um…" he blushed, then looked at the ground, "I just wanted to talk to you for little bit, Raven…"

There was a brief pause, then she let the door slide open all the way, standing before him; after several seconds of a tense, infinitely awkward silence, she stood to the side of the door so he could come in.

"Of course."

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Yet another one where the author note is longer than the chapter… Anyways, thanks, lol. All I can say is, I'm back, and I intend on staying for a bit, folks… I hope my stuff meets (or, god willing, exceeds) your expectations…


	23. Day 020

Beast Boy

6/11/05

No entry

Raven

6/11/05

I have no idea what happened.

Last night, I was getting ready for bed… changing, actually, when there was a knock at my door. It was Beast Boy. Well, as much as I love him (why can't I just say it to him in real life?) I don't quite feel comfortable with him seeing me in my lingiere yet… I opened the door a crack to see what he wanted, and he said he wanted to talk to me… well, what was I gonna do? Tell him to go away?

So, for whatever reason, I let him in… he was surprised to see me dressed like that, and I was surprised that I was letting him see me dressed like that… he started blushing, and that just made me blush…

Anyways, we talked for quite a while. Not really about anything. He looked at me a lot, but I was actually surprised to notice that he wasn't just looking at places he shouldn't… he looked me in the eye when he talked, and (except for the occasional glance) didn't even look at anything else… Wow… pretty sad that I can't even say it to myself, huh?

About 2 am, we decided we should probably go to bed. I curled up under the covers of mine as he was walking out… then he stopped. He turned around, looked at me… I could see absolute panic in his eyes (for some reason, I both enjoyed and feared that look). Then he walked over, kissed me on the forehead, and told me he loved me… yeah, he actually said it to me, face to face! And, as much as I loathe admitting it, I'm sitting here giggling like… I dunno… like Starfire, I guess… I enjoyed hearing it. And then, I don't know why, but I grabbed him and pulled him into the bed with me (not like, yanked him in, but I made it clear where he was sleeping…) and told him I loved him too.

I couldn't believe it. I still can't. I was next to naked, telling BB that I loved him, and he was in bed with me. Nothing happened. Well, let me rephrase that… nothing graphic happened. We spent the next ( hour or minute? Or somewhere in between? Or was it even longer?) just holding each other, and kinda shyly kissing… nothing intense, but for some reason it seemed like the most fulfilling thing in the world to me last night.

After that, we curled up together to sleep. I was in a kind of fetal position (it's comfy… and why am I explaining my reasoning to a journal that will only be read by me? And why am I using baby words?), and he just curled up around me, arms wrapped loosely around me…

I don't know exactly when I woke up. I just know that he was gone. Cyborg wanted to do some extra tests on him… turns out he'd known we were together. So now Cyborg definitely knows.

Well, I don't really know what else to say… it was a nice night, a very nice night… followed by a boring, routine day. Beast Boy and I will start training again in a few days, so hopefully things will start to get more entertaining then. It's late, so I think I'm gonna head up to bed… I think Beast Boy already has… whether to his or to mine, I dunno. Time to find out.

And, as an afterthought… it felt almost as good to tell Beast Boy I love him as it did to hear that he loved me… I never would've guessed…

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Yes, I am still firmly against this being a sex story… I didn't mean that as a pun, but it seems like it is one… sweet. I love puns, lol. Please forgive me for that… it's inappropriate, but I can't resist puns… So, as I was saying, I don't want this to be a sex story, and so I'm not going to go out and describe it. No, this is not describing an actual occurrence between me and Raven. Yes, I did intentionally exagerate the importance of this first night, and you know why? Cause I think if I was Raven at this point, this night would be the most important of my life so far… makes sense, don't it? She can't feel anything, and this is the most she's ever felt (and is infinitely more than she ever thought she'd feel). And yeah… the next chapter will have some pain on BB's part. He's still a guy, after all, and that would take a TON of self control… so expect to hear from a guy's point of view after being (unintentionally) tortured all night…


	24. Day 021

Beast Boy

6/12/05

How can I start this? Oh, I have an idea… pain. Suffering. Stupidity impulse almost taking over… I remember what Raven said that night in her mind, and I still don't want to be maimed…

Anyways, I went in to talk to Raven, and she was dressed only in her bra and panties… no, I did not plan it like that, it just happened to turn out that way…

So, we talked for a bit, and I did my best to behave myself and keep my eyes in "acceptable" places (I have respect for her, even if I don't have any for myself…) most of the time. It was pretty late when we decided it was time to go to bed. So I started to walk out while she climbed in bed, but then I walked back and gave her a little kiss and told her I loved her… she grabbed me and pulled me into bed with her. We kissed and stuff for quite a while, and then she curled up… I was REALLY not in the mood for sleeping at that point, but I sure as hell wasn't about to do anything to screw that up, so I just kinda pulled her against me a little bit. It was comfortable… much more enjoyable than I thought… but still UTTER TORTURE! Does she have any idea how much self-control that took? I mean honestly! That was evil!

Nothing happened after that, though. I had to sleep in my bed to recover… and that isn't a perverted form of treatment, I needed sleep… but I did leave her a present.

Well, dinner was Tofu steak. It was pretty thoughtful of Cyborg to feed us… after that, me and Raven got some nice time together… but I'm not going to tell why. shudders they shouldn't force me to do _that_… it's too horrible! Well, time for bed (again) and I think I'm going to tempt fate yet again…

Raven

6/12/05

Well, he was in his room last night… thinking back on it, it was probably not too good of me to force him to sleep with me but not let him ah… relieve himself of the pressures he was almost definitely feeling… at least I hope he was feeling them. If he wasn't, something isn't right between us…

He did make up for taking a night "off", or whatever… I went into bed, kinda depressed that he wasn't there, and I saw a little package on my pillow. It was a book (_The Silmarillion_) and a little note saying that he loved me. I don't know what the occasion was, ut it was… sweet?… of him to do it, I suppose.

Nothing new today. Robin is getting antsy… surprising, huh? No action since Slade attacked (not even a minor break-in), so of course he's getting a little freaked-out. Well, I think I just heard dinner call, so I better get there before Cyborg eats everything…

That was one of the most entertaining meals I've ever had… steak. I "convinced" Beast Boy that it was tofu, and he ate it without any trouble. Afterwards, though, is when the real chaos began…

Robin decided that all of us needed to read. Yes, even BB. It was hysterical, watching his face when he found out… I thought he was gonna die. Anyways, I knew how horrible it would be for him to read, but I had an idea of how to make it a little better for him. Since Robin wanted us to all read in the same room (so he could be sure that we were all actually reading) I convinced him and Starfire that it would be fine if BB read on the roof as long as I was there to make sure he really was reading. There wasn't much point in making Cyborg think that, since he already knows about us…

So, anyways, Beast Boy thought that I had done it so that he could get out of reading…but I made it very clear that he was still going to read. To make up for it (a little bit… or at least I hope to make up for it), I curled up with him on the roof while we read. He seemed to think that that made up for having to read.

It's time for me to get to bed now, though… it felt good having Beast Boy's arms wrapped around me while we were reading… I think I know what I'm gonna be dreaming about tonight…


	25. Day 022

Beast Boy

6/13/05

No Entry

Raven

6/13/05

Okay, so I didn't have to dream about that last night… Beast Boy visited me again. This time I was fully-clothed, however.

It was still an interesting night, though… we'd already cuddled and everything, and both of us (or at least me… and him not arguing) wanted to take things a little further. I'm still a virgin (technically), but we did go a lot farther than I thought we would.

I'm not gonna say too much, though… especially since I think Cyborg is reading this. Keep in mind, "big brother", if I find out you are, I WILL hurt you… much worse than you could ever imagine.

That said, what we did last night felt very good… and I'm guessing Beast Boy enjoyed it too, seeing as he slept quite a bit longer than I did and had a cute little grin on his face…

And what about actual work? Well, once Beast Boy actually did wake up (and we both stopped blushing) we went out and had breakfast with the rest of the team. Starfire and Robin are getting a bit more open with their relationship. Cyborg is still a loner when it comes to girls (he's in mourning, I think, since he went back in time…) but seems more-or-less happy. Which leaves me and BB with our little secret.

So, there still wasn't any action today, but RoDid it work? HA! It did! Okay, well, this is Love just checking in, Rae… you haven't been here for a while, but let me just tell you that you might want to be a little careful… you're still a bit "unstable", and I'd know… mainly since I'm the 'unstable' one. Anyways, just telling you that you might want to tone it down a little. Oh, by the way… last night almost counted you for upping that connection you and your lover have, lol… almost, but not quite. Anyways, have fun.bin said that we're gonna start back in with training tomorrow.

And, since I know I'm eventually going to think it (if I ever read this again), it did NOT take me this long to realize that Love wrote all that. I just wanted to get that last thought down on paper.

Well, that's a bit interesting… didn't think we were realy taking things all that far yet… ubt apparently we are. And, as a side thought, Love's gotten me giggling like Starfire again… this is positively disgusting…

The alarm's going off. I'll (hopefully) write back soon, once we beat the snot out of some bad-guy.


	26. Authornote 3

Okay, just another author note to check in and to appologize for not updating… I've had some trouble motivating myself to write recently, but I've gotten quite a bit done tonight, and I've got more ideas coming. So, I hope you enjoy what I've done so far, and I hope you continue to enjoy what I've got coming up.

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"What's the problem?" Robin yelled, scrambling into the living room; it was unusual for him to be the last Titan to the computer when an alarm went off, but all the others let it pass.

"Dunno," Cyborg muttered, typing quickly. Seconds later, a map of the city came up on the large TV screen, a red target marking the area where the disruption was taking place.

"Why isn't it telling us what's going on?" Raven whispered. Beast Boy gave a short shrug, taking a small step closer to her. Starfire floated up to the screen.

"It is the school…" Starfire said, floating close to the map.

"Vandals?"

"I doubt it," Robin said, "We'd better go check it out."

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Not much of a chapter, I know… but the journal entries are the important parts. Tomorrow we'll see what the trouble is… but not really, since I'm writing tomorrow now, and you'll be able to read it as soon as you hit the next arrow! Don't you love it when the laws of space and time don't apply? Lol. Review, please. Thanks.


	27. Day 023

Okay, this part is going to give a somewhat different look at things… you all know that there was an alarm at the school the night before (and, for the sake of argument, let's assume that it was a high school that just happens to be the exact same layout as mine). So, they went to see what the trouble is, and now we'll see the outcome…

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Beast Boy

File terminated on 6/14/05 by authorization of Robin (password accepted).

Raven

File terminated on 6/14/05 by authorization of Robin (password accepted)

Login:

Robin

Password:

Koriand'r

Password repeat:

Koriand'r

Password accepted. Welcome Robin.

View Email (1), Update journal (2), or view police reports (3) (please select one)

3

Journal entry

6/14/05

This has been one of the longest days ever. I don't even want to write about it, but I have to.

Last night we got another alarm. We didn't think it would be anything big, but it was. So we went to the school to find out what was going on, but there was no external damage… everything looked completely normal. We split up, Raven and Beast Boy going to one area while Cyborg went to the gym and Starfire and I took the main part. There didn't seem to be any trouble where we were at… but then we started to hear some loud noises coming from the middle section where Raven and Beast Boy were.

By the time we got there, the band room was totalled. I don't even want to think about how much damage was done… but I know it's going to take quite a bit to pay for everything that was either damaged or destroyed.

It didn't really matter though. The sounds were, at this point coming from the main theater. The doors were baricaded, and it took us a while to get in. By the time we did, it was too late for us to do anything. Beast Boy was dying, wrapped up in Raven's energy, and there was nobody else (aside from Raven herself) to be seen. He died before we could reach him, and Raven fled.

I don't know what happened. Starfire is in mourning. Cyborg's avoided me since we got back. I can't believe that Raven killed him. I don't want to believe it. I can only hope that what we saw was only a part of the truth, but I don't see how that's possible…

She took his body with him, but there's no doubt that he was dead. Cyborg got a clear reading of him, and there were absolutely no vital signs.

The worst part of this is, since she fled like that, we have to assume the worse. Had it been an accident, we could've forgiven her… but until we have proof, we have to assume she's guilty of Beast Boy's murder, which means that, for now, Raven is one of the biggest enemies the Teen Titans have.

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Well, this plot twist either came as a moment of genius or utter stupidity… I'll let you decide which. I've got it all planned out, though. And yes, that middle part (the "MsDos" part) I only did because I was bored and am easily amused, lol. So, I hope this hit you with a surprise, and I hope I'm able to keep you off balance for a bit to come… We're just gonna have to see, huh? And, since I know you're all gonna think it, this isn't a "happy" fic, so you can all rest easy… things'll turn out fine in the end.

Oh, and I've decided that my goal for this is to make it a year long… I really doubt I'll be able to do that, but who knows? Besides that would be a personal record for me, having one story be 365 chapters… And if any of you read each of them (and there'll be a test at the end, so I'll know which of you lie!) I'll give you… something… I dunno, lol. And I doubt any of you would read all of it (I doubt I would), but maybe some of you have as much free time on your hands as I do… Anyways, as I was saying, please review this latest plot twist, and I hope I got you looking forward for the next day.


	28. Day 024

Robin

6/15/05

Things still aren't going to well here. We've had to drug Starfire, she was so distraught. The Titans East are coming out here to help us. Cyborg is tracking Raven's communicator… she's disconnected it from the main server (meaning we can't access or contact it) but we can still follow it. We're going to hunt it down and, unless she offers some reason for what she's done, we're going to kill her… she killed a Titan, and once one of us has fallen we go out for blood. We all agreed to that, and I'll be damned if I'll let her get away with what she did, even if she was a Titan at the time.

Cyborg is getting ready for battle. Me and him will go, and we'll probably be bringing Speedy. Starfire will stay home… I don't want her to have to see what we're going to be forced to do.

We still don't know where Beast Boy's body is… I suppose she still has it, but I don't know what she's going to do with it. I still hope that it's all some misunderstanding… but I just don't see how that's possible. Write more later.

Well, word has apparently gotten out… every villain this side of Gotham is acting up… it's absolute hell, especially since Starfire is drugged at this point. Cyborg and I have to basically babysit her so that she doesn't get hurt in the fighting. In about 4 hours, we've fought Slade, Hive, Control Freak, and Killer Moth. Alright, so Control Freak and Killer Moth are more annoying than threatening, but it still took quite a bit of energy, especially after Hive and Slade…

There was no real damage done, though. Slade (of course) got away… I think he was gloating more than anything. And why shouldn't he gloat? Raven betrayed us, Beast Boy is dead… I'd be gloating too, if I was him…

Hive was the most serious of the fights… Cyborg thinks he might've been seriously damaged, but hasn't been able to check. I almost got knowcked out, but Starfire came out of her stupor long enough to help me… they got away, too. Control Freak and Killer Moth weren't so lucky, though. I hope they like the prison, because they'll be in there for a while. And if they do get out again soon, I'm not going to be quite so "gentle" with them next time. It'll be hard for Killer Moth to fight if his wings are broken off…

I'm going to bed, though… Cyborg's on sentry duty, and Starfire's asleep… everything should be okay. The alarms are all working, so I doubt anyone'll be able to get in here without us knowing.


	29. Day 025

I hope y'all enjoy, lol.

Robin

6/16/05

The Titans East got here earlier today. They've been getting used to how things work out here, so I think they'll be able to handle things. That's good, since they're going to have to take over very soon.

Starfire lapsed into a coma from both too much medications and too much stress… Cyborg (and several doctors, one of them a Tameranean who arrived early this afternoon) says that she'll be okay.

Speaking of Cyborg, he's got a prediction for the path Raven will follow, though he can't tell for sure precisely where she'll stop. We're going to set up somewhere along it and ambush her… we've attempted to contact her (Cyborg back-hacked her communicator so we could make contact with it) and told her that, if she surrenders, we'll ignore the "eye for an eye" agreement about deaths. So for, she hasn't answered… really doesn't make me feel to good.

She hasn't offered any explanations for it, either… is it possible that she willingly killed Beast Boy? I hope not… but we'll just have to wait to find out…

Raven

6/16/05

Well, this isn't a computer, but it'll have to do…

I'm writing on my communicator… it's a bit like a PDA, a guess… Anyways, I don't know how long it's been since Beast Boy died, but I don't really care… It's done, and now I just have to find a way to make things right.

I know what the others think… even from this far away, I can feel their thoughts. They think I killed him. They think that I did it on purpose. And you know what? I'd think the same if I'd seen what they saw. But they didn't see everything. They don't know the truth. They didn't see how that bitch betrayed us both.

I thought we could trust her. I really did. But I was wrong, again. Just like I was wrong with Terra before, I was wrong again. How could I be so stupid?

Now I just have to concentrate on making everything right. I can't let what's happened get in the way… I just have to save Beast Boy. And I know how.

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Cue dramatic music… lol, I am way too easily amused. Well, I think I've got a few more tricks ready for you… who knows what's going to happen? I doubt any of you will be able to guess, but maybe… Please Review, and I hope you enjoy. YOU OWE ME! REVIEW!


	30. Author's Note I'm Back

So… I feel like I owe everyone an apology. After all, you were expecting me to write more, and I was going to… and then I didn't. I've been meaning to lay off them for a while, but I found a bunch of other people's stories that I've printed out/saved onto my comp (Raven A. Star and Taiba, this is largely directed towards you, lol) and it made me feel nostalgic… So I went back and was reading all the old favorites, and then I decided "Hey, I'll read the reviews people sent me", 'cause I haven't done that in a while…

Anyways, the point is, all of them made me remember how much joy I took in writing (even when I thought that people would hate my stuff), so I'm going to try starting up again. If you go to my bio, I'll have a list of what you all can expect to have finished, and I'll TRY to update at least once a week. Please keep in mind, quality is going to be more important than keeping up with that deadline, so if I don't update as consistently as I planned, I'll have another coming soon.

Anyways, sorry for those of you who saw the alert in your email and thought this was actually new… but I promise to get something up for you soon. Please, feel free to drop me an email or will both work). Talk to you later.

Kyle Monaco


End file.
